Phir bhi Dil hai Hindustani

I am back home in India for vacation.....after almost 2 years.

Now that I think of it, I don't know how or why I couldn't and didn't come back sooner. But now that this time has passed, my Indo-american friends in US warned me about this visit, mainly from the "shock value" perspective.

"So much has changed", everyone said "You will feel the difference. Especially since you now have the comfort of the lifestyle here in the US for 2 years. You say you want to go back eventually but the longer you stay in US, more difficult it would be for you to go back"

The subject under discussion are my so-called "long term plans", whether I'd want to go through the Green (Card) Channel or return back to the motherland after my quota of years on H1 visa expires in a few years. It's something I have thought about recently, mainly as a result of such strong feedback from my friends and acquaintances. When they travel back home, they say, they are happy that they don't need to go through the daily grind of life existent here which is virtually absent in the US. In US, click of a button and most of your work is done. You have a nice car, well defined hours of work, not much headache with traffic (is most cases) and so on. Most importantly, you are "safe". Maybe I'd feel the same way I thought, afterall it's not incorrect. 

First step on the airport in Mumbai tells me that I was foolish to even think of it as a possibility. Actually, it was full of all the things I am supposed to be scared of now. I was stepping out of a crowded airport terminal bus into 35 degrees Celsius , taking in the rich carbon dioxide air from the bus exhaust which also indicated that my sinus trouble was back after the 2 year hiatus. In a nutshell, it had all the makings of a moment that would help me decide - to run away. Instead, I just found myself smiling.

I was home, it outweighed everything else....and it's not just about that particular moment or just being happy to see my family after such extended period of time. It's about who I am, who I have always been for close to 25 years of my life. How does my 2 year stay in another country change that? All I can say is I have had a good fortune to live part of my life in another country and it's a good experience. But that's all it can be, an experience. Not the beginning of a new life. Not for me.

I find it a little hard to digest what we are so bothered about after all. Isn't this what we grew up in? What has changed exactly?  I question the very attitude that makes us believe that we belong in a foreign land after couple years of stay and then mention our own country as something of a "third party" which gave us close to 20 odd years (in most cases) that included an opportunity to travel to a foreign country in the first place. 

No sir, you don't really belong in US just because you know the latest scores in the American Football league or because you watch the Jay Leno or some other show every night (different things may be applicable in other countries). I am sure some people are exceptions but mostly, this comes across as a little desperate attempt to fit in someplace when you know deep down your heart that you don't belong here. 

I fail to understand the necessity to lose your individuality and become a foreign national. The changed accent, for example, gets on my nerves. Unless you are taught in a foreign school from a very young age, I don't understand the need to change the way you speak. In my experience, americans in particular, don't care about it as long as you communicate well. They are surprisingly good at understanding different accents and respecting them. In fact, one of my old managers in a US company had asked one of my friends why he speaks in a different accent when he's in a client call and a different one when he's speaking with his friends. Why such an obsessive need to become one of them?

I am not going to advocate love for your country here nor do I intend to write this as a patriotic call to return to your country. Each one makes his/her own choice. I have highest respect for people who genuinely try to understand the culture of another country without losing their individuality and just treat it as a learning experience for them which they can use for their future. 

But I just want to question this whole attitude of phirang-ism that has been spreading like crazy in the past few years. 

I don't understand how you are an american if every other meal you eat out is Indian.

I don't understand how you can pretend that you enjoy Holi or Diwali as much as you did in India.

I don't understand how your own comfort and safety trumps over the ability to see your family as and when you want.

I don't understand why you smile politely at strangers if they are US citizens and give a condescending look to fellow Indians.

I don't understand how your green card processing can be your lifeline.

I have spent most of the day travelling on a "bumpy" road, constantly twitching in my seat at the thought of a possible crash that our driver was going to cause any moment. Tomorrow I might have to travel to my bank, possibly a specific branch, just to activate my ATM and debit card. I understand it's going to be a little tough as I've lost "touch" a little bit. But I cannot pretend that my life in the last 2 years has suddenly made these things a BIG headache for me when millions like me do this and more everyday without a fuss.

I have made my "long term" choice. I will head back after my vacation but this is where I'll return. To hell with convenience, safety and comfort.....bring on the good old "daily grind"

Wanted to name this "Indian at heart" but I am sure you understand what made me change it.

My little "Secret"

Does “The Secret” really work?

If you don’t know what “The Secret” is, it’s basically the law of attraction. Your thoughts having a power more potent than you can imagine, your thoughts influence your destiny and all that. I know what you are thinking “it sounds good to hear but is it really practical?”

I don’t know. 

I read the popular book “The Secret” very recently and being a daydreamer at heart, it appealed to me. Maybe because I was brought up to think only good thoughts, never wish bad on anyone and not even say bad things like death aloud. What I was taught was "What you say comes back to you so always say good things". Although part of it is the superstitions, I feel there is some logic in what has been passed around over centuries.

My intent today is not to go into the details of it, read “The Secret” if you want and decide for yourself which side of the fence you want to be on. For now, I will just narrate something funny in my job life that I feel is related to this.

My job comes with an additional responsibility to be IT production on-call for a week, every 1 to 2 months. If something goes wrong in the daily business process (production as we call it) , I need to be ready to get up in the middle of night and help fix it. There are 6-7 of us who share this responsibility and we are especially scared over a month-end, that’s when things typically go wrong more.

I am fairly new to this, and so far I have got the responsibility twice, including the dreaded "month-end" week once. But nothing went wrong. The just the other day, I heard one of my fellow “burden-carriers” complain about “things going horribly wrong” whenever he has the on-call mobile. This got me thinking again. I remembered he called me few days back to say that he cannot login to our system. He wanted me to check if I could since I was his secondary that week and to make sure the problem was not specific to his login. The funny thing is, nothing had gone wrong till that time. He just wanted to make sure he was ready IF ANYTHING WENT WRONG.

It really surprised me because I almost tend to forget I have the mobile with me for the week, forget about “being ready”. I don’t even think of something going wrong during the night. He does. I don’t know why he does that. Funnily enough, something went wrong the same night, 3 times. Once again I heard him saying to someone how he has a rotten luck with these things. I couldn’t help but wonder if he was creating a vicious circle for himself by saying this again and again.

Cut to today. I am in training so cannot check my email etc. One of the new processes I recently implemented has failed, someone calls me during the training. It’s a small process, not much can go wrong with it so I tell the guy who called me “Its not critical, I will take care of it in my next training break”. I am not worried since I know the process is not too complex. Funnily enough, they are not able to resolve it till late in the day. 

After my training, I log in to see how it went and it’s still failed.  As I look into it, I realize something is wrong in server environment, its not specific to my process. It’s a bigger issue. Right people get involved on time and fix it. The failure, that I was not much worried about, not only took care of my process but helped prevent a major catastrophe for tonight’s production run, which no one would have known, if not for this failure.

Now, this might be coincidence and not the “magic” of my positive thoughts. But I choose to believe it and since it was fixed in time I believe everything will just go smoothly tonight. 

Guess I don’t have to tell you I am the primary on-call for this week ;)

 

I need to start writing

दिसामाजी काही तरी ते लिहावे 
प्रसंगी अखंडीत वाचीत जावे 
  
In my native Marathi language, this means "Write something everyday, and just keep reading as and when you can". Old proverbs in our language carry volumes of wisdom in the briefest of verses and I feel this is one of them. 

Although today's social media provides us with avenues to write what we want, it has got saturated real fast. I have not used twitter yet but then I never had the art to state it in brief (pun not intended).

My thoughts are random (hence the blog name), on varied subjects and mostly non-coherent. Facebook isn't a right medium to express those, which is something I should have known much earlier.

So here I am, to share those random ramblings in my mind, put my thoughts, feelings and opinions out there .....and also absorb what else is out there, to broaden my own horizons.

I know I am definitely a reader, have always been one. But a writer? Maybe, maybe not. I will only know once I start writing...

As of now, I just know I am liking it and I have at least opened an avenue for my thoughts so as and when I feel or think strongly about something, it will not just stay in my mind ...

Until Later....