Phir bhi Dil hai Hindustani

I am back home in India for vacation.....after almost 2 years.

Now that I think of it, I don't know how or why I couldn't and didn't come back sooner. But now that this time has passed, my Indo-american friends in US warned me about this visit, mainly from the "shock value" perspective.

"So much has changed", everyone said "You will feel the difference. Especially since you now have the comfort of the lifestyle here in the US for 2 years. You say you want to go back eventually but the longer you stay in US, more difficult it would be for you to go back"

The subject under discussion are my so-called "long term plans", whether I'd want to go through the Green (Card) Channel or return back to the motherland after my quota of years on H1 visa expires in a few years. It's something I have thought about recently, mainly as a result of such strong feedback from my friends and acquaintances. When they travel back home, they say, they are happy that they don't need to go through the daily grind of life existent here which is virtually absent in the US. In US, click of a button and most of your work is done. You have a nice car, well defined hours of work, not much headache with traffic (is most cases) and so on. Most importantly, you are "safe". Maybe I'd feel the same way I thought, afterall it's not incorrect. 

First step on the airport in Mumbai tells me that I was foolish to even think of it as a possibility. Actually, it was full of all the things I am supposed to be scared of now. I was stepping out of a crowded airport terminal bus into 35 degrees Celsius , taking in the rich carbon dioxide air from the bus exhaust which also indicated that my sinus trouble was back after the 2 year hiatus. In a nutshell, it had all the makings of a moment that would help me decide - to run away. Instead, I just found myself smiling.

I was home, it outweighed everything else....and it's not just about that particular moment or just being happy to see my family after such extended period of time. It's about who I am, who I have always been for close to 25 years of my life. How does my 2 year stay in another country change that? All I can say is I have had a good fortune to live part of my life in another country and it's a good experience. But that's all it can be, an experience. Not the beginning of a new life. Not for me.

I find it a little hard to digest what we are so bothered about after all. Isn't this what we grew up in? What has changed exactly?  I question the very attitude that makes us believe that we belong in a foreign land after couple years of stay and then mention our own country as something of a "third party" which gave us close to 20 odd years (in most cases) that included an opportunity to travel to a foreign country in the first place. 

No sir, you don't really belong in US just because you know the latest scores in the American Football league or because you watch the Jay Leno or some other show every night (different things may be applicable in other countries). I am sure some people are exceptions but mostly, this comes across as a little desperate attempt to fit in someplace when you know deep down your heart that you don't belong here. 

I fail to understand the necessity to lose your individuality and become a foreign national. The changed accent, for example, gets on my nerves. Unless you are taught in a foreign school from a very young age, I don't understand the need to change the way you speak. In my experience, americans in particular, don't care about it as long as you communicate well. They are surprisingly good at understanding different accents and respecting them. In fact, one of my old managers in a US company had asked one of my friends why he speaks in a different accent when he's in a client call and a different one when he's speaking with his friends. Why such an obsessive need to become one of them?

I am not going to advocate love for your country here nor do I intend to write this as a patriotic call to return to your country. Each one makes his/her own choice. I have highest respect for people who genuinely try to understand the culture of another country without losing their individuality and just treat it as a learning experience for them which they can use for their future. 

But I just want to question this whole attitude of phirang-ism that has been spreading like crazy in the past few years. 

I don't understand how you are an american if every other meal you eat out is Indian.

I don't understand how you can pretend that you enjoy Holi or Diwali as much as you did in India.

I don't understand how your own comfort and safety trumps over the ability to see your family as and when you want.

I don't understand why you smile politely at strangers if they are US citizens and give a condescending look to fellow Indians.

I don't understand how your green card processing can be your lifeline.

I have spent most of the day travelling on a "bumpy" road, constantly twitching in my seat at the thought of a possible crash that our driver was going to cause any moment. Tomorrow I might have to travel to my bank, possibly a specific branch, just to activate my ATM and debit card. I understand it's going to be a little tough as I've lost "touch" a little bit. But I cannot pretend that my life in the last 2 years has suddenly made these things a BIG headache for me when millions like me do this and more everyday without a fuss.

I have made my "long term" choice. I will head back after my vacation but this is where I'll return. To hell with convenience, safety and comfort.....bring on the good old "daily grind"

Wanted to name this "Indian at heart" but I am sure you understand what made me change it.